Addendum 1
Unfortunately, due to my complete and utter refusal to change the speech I was planning to make, my candidacy has been struck down by the administration. My speech was deemed as inappropriate, as it cited quite specifically the particular things about Malvern with which I am displeased. It cited why I wanted to run for office, and why I thought I would make a good officer. Apparently, explaining one's positions, opinions, views, abilities, goals, and strengths pertaining to their campaign makes for an inappropriate speech. No profane or offensive language was used, no slurs or personal degradations were made, and yet, for some reason, my speech was deemed inappropriate.
The fact of the matter is, I was eliminated from the Student Council political process for no other reason than the fact that I refused to compromise my ideals. I was told that unless I changed the speech that I had prepared, I would not be permitted to make any speech at all, and since it is necessary for a candidate to make a speech in order to run, I was likewise not permitted to continue my campaign. Put bluntly, the rules were bent in order to prevent me from participating in an open and honest campaign, and for no other reason than the fact that my ideas were not shared by the people in charge. I refused to compromise my convictions.
Ironically, the virtue of having strong convictions was one of the more important qualities put forth by the administration at the first meeting regarding student elections. Apparently, this virtue is only desirable for a future Malvern leader if those convictions coincide with the convictions of those in charge. Also quite ironically, a second preliminary was held for the second and third place presidential tickets for the purpose of ensuring that "…the students choose the candidates." Apparently, this also is only applicable to those prospective candidates whose beliefs and ideas coincide with those in charge, as no student chose to eliminate me from the race, and no student was consulted on the matter.
Most people, upon hearing of the result of my political campaign, would automatically assume that I lost. However, I view this transgression to be not only a victory, but a victory far greater than a successful campaign ever could have provided. In striking down my candidacy, the administration has done more for my cause, more to support my ideas, than I ever could have done by getting elected.
Many people, viewing my current situation, would have trouble believing this. After all, I succeeded in nothing. The system is exactly the same as it was before me, and the school has not changed at all. Where these people make their mistake, however, is in assuming that my purpose was to change the system. A martyr can say more with one instant of death than a philosopher can say with a century of life. Likewise, my denied candidacy did more for my cause than I ever could have done by being elected. At no point, ever, did I seriously consider it a possibility that the system would be changed in time for me to see it. Such change is not brought about quickly, and never occurs all at once. No, my intent was never to change the system, but to plant the seeds and clear the path for the person who would.
Things will never change with one person; it will take time, patience, and persistence. Change, however, will someday come to Malvern, as it must to all other things. Like everything else in the world, Malvern will adapt to its changing surroundings, or, like all things that can not, Malvern will perish. I may have been too early for my views and opinions to take root, but someday, someone will bring about the inevitable. Someday, Malvern will have no choice but to recognize their shortcomings. They can't ignore us forever. Someday, they will have to listen; someday they will have to change. Someday.
Below, a copy of my "inappropriate"
speech is posted. Judge its appropriateness for yourselves.
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Let's be honest, can we?
Any of you out there who know me, and probably
even some of you who don't, know at least one thing about me.
Ask anyone who knows me, and they'll tell you. Its no secret.
I hate this school. I hate almost everything about this school.
I hate the dress code, the mandatory weekly chapel services, and
the O'Neill Center. I hate the workload, the statue of Saint Augustine,
and the fact that it costs 16 thousand, 500 dollars for a year's
tuition here and yet the school pats itself on the back for a
donation of a couple thousand-dollars to charity.
Now some of you may be asking why I would want
to run for office if I hate the school so much. Some of you may
be thinking this is a joke, and that the only reason I want to
be in office is so that a guy who hates the school can say he's
the Secretary/Treasurer. But that's not it. OK, that's a part
of it, but the other part of it, the much more important part
of it, is that I know what I want to do in office.
All three of us who are running for this position
are completely and totally qualified to perform the duties that
the position requires. In my opinion, what this election comes
down to is no who can count money or take notes, because all three
of us here can do that. What it comes down to is who will represent
the students better in office.
Let's face it, you don't want someone in office
who loves this school. He won't have anything to do. Sure he might
throw you an extra dance somewhere or a dress down day or two,
but he really won't do anything important, because there's nothing
he wants to change. I want to change everything, and I hate the
status quo. You can bet that I won't just be along for the ride.
Now, I can't promise that big things will be
accomplished (I mean let's face it, I'm running for student council,
not board of directors) and its pretty obvious that I won't have
nearly enough power to do most of the things that I want to, but
you can bet on one thing. Although I may not have the power to
accomplish what needs to be done, and while I may never see change
while I'm in office, someday, it will happen. Maybe in a few years,
maybe in a few dozen, but someday, this school will have no choice
but to change. And it won't be a quick change, it won't be over
night. It won't all happen at once, but eventually it will happen.
It has to start somewhere, and I want it to start with me.
If there's two other things about me that you
should know, its that I'm honest, and that I'm outspoken. I always
say what I have to say, and I'm very proud of that. I speak my
opinion, and always honestly. And you can count on me doing so
in office.
And if one of you needs anything, wants to
know anything, has anything to say, or has anything to ask, come
and see me, because I always express my thoughts, and stand up
for what I believe in, and as your representative, you can bet
that I'll stand up for you too.
Thank you, and vote Guar.
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The Trouble With Excellence
The trouble with excellence is that it is only
gauged by what appears on paper. Many of Malvern's aspects look
excellent on paper, such as weekly chapel services, small class
sizes, and an impressively funded athletics program, but once
these are seen from the inside, it soon becomes apparent that
their actual worth to the school is much less than face value.
The misuse of funds at Malvern is one of the
most demonstrative examples of this false worth. The two most
evident misuses are the O'Neill Sports Center and the statue of
St. Augustine. The O'Neill Center has been up and running for
over a year now and is used at a minimum by any student on campus.
The building itself had a cost of roughly $8 million, and is an
impressive addition to Malvern's resume; however, it provides
little use to the students and faculty of Malvern Prep. My neighbors
have three daughters, all of whom are active swimmers, and only
the oldest of which is in High School. These three sisters each
use the building more during the swimming season than I ever have,
and that is not because I am not an avid participant in sports.
Last year, I played football and lacrosse, in addition to my mandatory
physical education course. The only significant times I used the
building were when I used the locker room, the trainer's office,
and the small closet of a classroom located in an obscure corner
of the building. I could not even find the squash courts if I
had to, and it would take me at least a good twenty minutes to
navigate my way out if I were dropped in a random area of the
building. The one or two times that I did get to use the pool,
I remember having to be careful not to get in the way of the women
teaching their young children how to swim. I am in no way against
sharing, but those lessons were paid for, at the expense of the
student body.
The bronze statue at the front of the school
is yet another vastly glorified trinket that provides virtually
no service to the operation of the school. Benjamin Franklin said
it best in The Autobiography when he said, "…a man being
sometimes more generous when he has but a little money than when
he has plenty, perhaps through fear of being thought to have but
little." Franklin's thoughts concerning man's generosity
with money are just as applicable to Malvern's zeal in showing
off its grand statue as a symbol of its excellence, but like Malvern's
excellence, that of the statue is only as solid as the pennies
that paid for it. Another clear irony of the statue is that we
are willing to spend a half of a million dollars on a new one
of St. Augustine, but the only on campus statue of Jesus is cracked
and weathered. You may ask yourself, as I did, why this would
be seen as a logical decision. However, it occurred to me that
the statue of Jesus is hidden by Knapp Hall, and under a double
row of trees. The front of Malvern's entrance, however, is in
plain view, and a new bronze statue would be an impressive first
sight of the school, however worthless it may be in actuality.
Regarding the collective $8.5 million spent
on the St. Augustine Statue and the O'Neill Center, I have often
wondered how a self-respecting Board of Directors could approve
such expenditure on such trivial items, especially when these
aspects of the school are already regarded as being superior to
many other schools. For example, we have a drain on the walkway
to Carney that always clogs in the rain, bathrooms in Dennis,
Carney, and Dougherty Halls that could make a rodent vomit, and
concrete walkways and brick staircases that, in several areas,
are cracked and broken apart underfoot. The only reason offered
to me for this poor use of funds is that the choice concerning
what the money is spent on falls solely on the donor of the money.
This excuse is unsatisfactory, to say the least. To think that
the decisions regarding the expenses of Malvern Preparatory School
can be decided by anyone who is willing to pay is appalling. The
most applicable word for what Malvern is in this respect is not
fit to be mentioned in this paper, so I will not mention it, but
it certainly is the most thorough description of Malvern in this
respect.
The mandatory religion is yet another egregious
example of the automatism exhibited by Malvern Preparatory School.
Now, before I continue, I feel that it is important to first state
that I am in no way an atheist. I consider myself more religious
that at least 75% of the student body. I pray at least 3 times
a day (not at regular intervals, and not of great length, but
just as sincere as any others) and I attend every daily, optional,
chapel service that I can. Neither am I in any way opposed to
religion in private school systems, I think it fills a necessary
basis of moral standard and conduct. But a mandatory assembly
at the beginning of every week in which the entire Malvern student
body is funneled into the church and preached at (and I do mean
at) is not religion. Some of the sermons and speeches given are
absolutely brilliant, and full of the wisdom and insight that
would be incredibly beneficial… if the message were getting
through. The fact of the matter is, that any attempt at enlightening
the congregation with anything is virtually impossible if they
refuse to hear the message. If they don't want to hear the oration,
they are definitely not going to want to hear the message behind
it. I would say that at best, 10% of the students that attend
the service take it seriously, and the constant horseplay and
sound effects would lead one to believe that even 10% is an overstatement.
Religion is worth nothing if it is not voluntary. If there is
any doubt as to the validity of this statement, just take a look
at the pews. They are covered with engraved names, profanity,
and references to narcotic abuse. While I'm on the subject, I
might as well mention that the restoration of these pews, and
the rest of the school as well, is yet another cause to which
money would be much better spent. To sit in a chapel on a Monday
morning, when virtually none of the students are fully awake,
and endure the incessant droning of countless Scriptural readings
that have all been heard on multiple occasions does nothing but
reinforce any apathy that the students may have for their religion.
Along with its shiny metal trinkets and expensive
resume builders, Malvern boasts a small class size. I will not
negate the fact that the total number of students per grade is
significantly less than that of many other schools, and, as with
other aspects of Malvern's success, a class size of around a hundred
students per grade is very impressive… on paper. The reality
is that while many other schools may have more children to deal
with, they have more extensive resources to do so. My middle school,
for instance, had about 350 students in my grade. This may sound
absurd, but the average number of students in one classroom was
approximately 20. Many of my classes at Malvern are in excess
of this number, and very few are under it. The number of students
in a class, however, is not nearly as obvious as the lack of seating
at mandatory school functions.
Those glorious weekly chapel services mentioned
earlier are jam packed with students and teachers. Each desecrated
pew has an extra chair on the end of it, and there is another
row of chairs in the back of the chapel. However, there are still,
on average, 30-40 students and teachers who have to stand at the
sides of the church, and this is only the upper school. The lower
school is packed into more rows of chairs surrounding the alter,
leaving just enough room for the clergymen and speakers to walk
through. We have sufficient seating in upper school section of
the chapel for approximately 420 people, including the added seating,
and yet there are still 30-40 other people who have to stand through
the entire service. If sitting through an early Monday service
sounds bad, try standing through it, and good luck if it is a
Holy Day of Observation, or any other full mass service, or you
could be standing for over an hour. If the standing weren't enough,
in the winter the radiators are turned on, and are conveniently
placed directly beneath the poor saps that have to stand. The
air emanating from these heaters is quite intense, and it is not
a challenge for the people to burn their hands by touching these
radiators.
Another poorly planned capacity is that of the Auditorium. In
most cases, any production or meeting that takes place there must
be done in two segments for the upper school. One must be for
the Upper School, and another for the Lower School. If there is
ever a function in that building that requires that all four grades
of the Upper School attend, it is more than likely that at least
20 people will have to resort to standing in the back of the auditorium,
especially if any parents are present.
As if waking up to go to an early morning chapel
service on a Monday wasn't enough to kill the spirits of the students,
the relentless bludgeoning fist of conformity is there to finish
the job. The dress code is not the only form of conformity exhibited
by the school, although it is the most prominent. If a person
lacks any of the 8-10 regulations handed down from the discipline
office, he can immediately receive "1 and 1," or, one
detention and one demerit. These regulations include, but are
not limited to, a sport coat, a tie, a button-down collared shirt,
a belt, long legged and internally pocketed khaki pants, dress
shoes, and sufficiently long socks. At all times, the shirt is
to be tucked in, the tie is to be fully tightened and straightened,
the pant cuffs are to remain off of the shoes, and the top button
of the shirt is to be buttoned. Along with clothing regulations,
all faces are to be clean-shaven, hair is to be less than a maximum
length, and no body piercing is to be exhibited. At times I wonder
what restrictions were declined by the administration, mandatory
"MP" brandings on our upper arms?
Physical conformity is not the only form exhibited
by Malvern, conformity is also evident in the restrictions on
schoolwork. Most if not all of the written works submitted by
students are supposed to be in MLA format. MLA format is a format
based on an 18 page pamphlet that was created by the Modern Language
Association, a group of learned men with nothing better to do
than sit around and discuss what proper literary works should
look like. Among other restrictions, MLA format enforces a standard
heading, page layout, grammatical key, and bibliographical model,
all of which help to beat the incessant notion of conformity into
the still developing minds of the students. If a person could
show me one example, just one example, of a writer renowned for
his uniform format, I would discontinue any argument opposing
the use of MLA format. This is not likely to happen however, as
most renowned writers are renowned for their command of the language,
their provocative ideas, and even, at times, their complete disregard
for the common format.
This mandate of conformity could be defended
by some as an attempt to fulfill the school's title as a "preparatory
school," meaning, a school whose primary purpose is to prepare
its students for their futures in college and in their careers.
In this respect, too, Malvern's actual value falls far short of
its face value. If Malvern were truly a preparatory school, it
would be sufficient in the preparation of its students for all
aspects of their futures, not just their uniformity of appearance
and production. There is a lot more to life than work, and any
person who considers himself successful solely on his financial
gain and skill at his trade, is someone from whom I would not
like to learn. A successful person is one with an amicable personality,
good sense of humor, and strong moral background. Any attempts
made by Malvern to aid in the development of these qualities in
their students are feeble at best. Any moral theology or social
justice courses are weak in impact, through no fault of the teachers
or curricula, but through the apathy of the student body and the
lack of respect they have for their teachers and classes.
Even Malvern's attempts to prepare its students
for the world of college and careers are full of holes. The true
preparation lies only in the final production, not in the actual
course of events leading up to it. For instance, most classes
at Malvern engage in little or no group activity, and those that
do concentrate very little on the function of the group as a whole.
The only group activity administered is that in which several
people must submit a final product for grading, and no group skills
are taught or monitored. Even in these few group cases, even fewer
of these groups are in groups of anything more than two, and in
many cases, the work is either split into two parts, or one person
ends up dominating the workload while the other adds a minimal
amount to the production.
Group cooperation is not the only thing lacking
in Malvern's preparation. The Complete lack of young women and
the virtual lack of ethnic diversity both contribute to the deficiency
of Malvern's preparatory aspects. Since its first semester, Malvern
has supported the idea of "no girls allowed." This may
have been a slightly applicable practice in Malvern's operation
back when it began in 1842, when the business and collegiate world
were both dominated by men, but in an age when women are becoming
both accepted and respected in the worlds of business and education,
is it not reactionary to continue the practice of a male-dominated
work place? This is what Malvern is, and what Malvern has always
been. As far as working with people of the opposite gender, Malvern
prepares its students for nothing, and it is unfeasible to expect
that none of them will ever have to work with a woman in their
futures. Ancient practices such as gender segregation are major
contributors, if not the most prominent source, of ideas like
sexism and abuses such as sexual harassment. If students are not
taught what is and what is not appropriate behavior when working
with women now, they will learn it the hard way later, or perhaps
not at all.
The lack of Racial Integration at Malvern is
nothing more than depressing. Less than 10% of the student body
is of African American decent, and the number of African Americans
in the 11th and 12th grades can fit at a single, small, lunch
table. I only know of a few students in the upper school who are
of Asian descent, and I believe there to be a single, Swedish
exchange student. The exchange student, however, speaks perfect,
American English, and (no personal offense to him, his ability
to fit into a foreign culture is impressive, to say the least)
is a poor example of a foreign culture. The closest thing Malvern
has to a substantial group of ethnically diverse students is the
small group of Canadian students that attend the school, and even
they face discrimination. It has come to the point where there
are so few students of different ethnicities, that being a student
of a diverse ancestry is automatically a student's most predominate
feature. Just today, after being asked for the third time at break
for a dollar, I remarked, "You people piss me off,"
in reference to the people who never have their own cash. It never
occurred to me that the third person, which happened to be an
African American friend of mine, immediately (and jokingly) asked
if it was a generalization about his race. He knew I didn't mean
it that way, and I knew he didn't take it that way either, but
when the first thought in his head was that of his ethnicity,
it demonstrates the fact that it becomes your identity in a primarily
white, suburban, northeast coast culture.
Malvern's claim to the title of "preparatory
school" is as flimsy as the true value of its assets, and
while the school may look very impressive on a college resume
and very successful on paper, the true value of the school and
the total preparation it follows through with, are as thin as
the paper it appears on.
If you would like to contact Chris Guarino,
the author, in order to submit a question, comment, or criticism,
please send it via e-mail to: cguarino30@hotmail.com
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